Biz Shiz with Shani Timms
Biz Shiz is the podcast for open & honest chats about the REAL SHIZ that goes on in biz.
This is THE business podcast for Soul-Led entrepreneurs who are ready to do business differently. I am here to help you bridge the gap between old school business & modern day spirituality, where we weave the WooWoo, ToDo & the delulu.
On this podcast, we share the real shit around money, magic, business, energetics and so much more.
You ready ? Let’s talk Biz Shiz!
Biz Shiz with Shani Timms
Baby Proof Biz feat. Jenna Kennedy on Re-Writing The Postpartum Narrative Through Habit Stacks & Dopamine Hacks
Hey my loves,
Welcome back to another episode from our mini series, Baby Proof Biz.
What if motherhood could become the most natural role you've ever stepped into - even more natural than being an entrepreneur?
I am SO excited to share this chat with the incredible Jenna Kennedy... Jenna candidly shares how entrepreneurship actually prepared her for motherhood, teaching her to navigate chaos, maintain vision through challenges, and adapt to constant change. Rather than accepting the prevailing negative narratives about postpartum life, she intentionally created her own experience, setting up systems and support networks that allowed her to thrive during this transformative period.
We dive in to:
- How Jenna never really aspired to be a mum, BUT it was the best thing she has done.
- Entrepreneurship skills like managing chaos and vision-setting are transferable to motherhood
- Creating your own motherhood experience rather than accepting others' negative narratives
- Why the first year matters... and what are the foundational things we can be doing to improve our child's brains development!
- How "Dead face" phone scrolling harms baby's development through cortisol spikes and emotional disconnection
- Intentional habit-building through "dopamine checklists" supports mental health during postpartum
- Asking for specific help from your support network is crucial for postpartum wellbeing
- What Jenna planned before birth to help streamline Trimester
- Setting up business systems before birth allows for true presence with your baby
- Planning for 12 weeks away but allowing yourself to return to creative work when it feels right
- Community support and transparency about motherhood challenges prevents isolation
This episode will challenge you to rethink what's possible when it comes to balancing biz with motherhood. Whether you're pregnant, planning for a family someday, or supporting someone in this journey, you'll walk away with a refreshing perspective...
Enjoy the episode,
Love Shani x
Connect With Jenna :
Loved the show? I would LOVE for you to click 'follow' & keep up to date with all things BIZ SHIZ.
Also while you're at it - if you feel like leaving a review it would mean the world to me and it helps this podcast get in more ears.
Or over at @shani_timms for all things podcast, business & life.
Want to start your brand for $99 - check out the BRAND:IT bundle HERE.
OR Check out my FREE Business Blueprint Workshop + Worksheet HERE.
Welcome to Baby Proof Biz, a Biz Shiz mini podcast series for the woman who wants to balance business and motherhood, you know you're in the right place if you want to bake sourdough and build success, if you want to have the wholesome family life and the wealthy business life, and if you want to be a crunchy craft mom and a successful CEO and a successful CEO. My name is Sharni Timms. I'm a brand and business coach and soon to be mama, and my intention for this podcast mini series is to bring you expansive conversations around business and motherhood that give you practical insights, tools and takeaways to help you have more than just a business, whether you have a family or wanting to start a family or anywhere in between, or maybe you're eight and a half months pregnant, like me. Wherever you are in your journey, welcome to Baby Proof Biz and I hope you enjoy the show. Jenna Kennedy, welcome to the Biz Shears podcast.
Speaker 2:Hello, I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 1:I am so excited you're here. This is a little bit of a low-key fangirl moment, because I have been following your work for so long. It's kind of that like first time. What's it? Long-time listener first-time caller situation.
Speaker 2:That's what you said when you slid into my DMs, I think.
Speaker 1:Yes, I was like this is so weird because, like I feel like I know you so well, but you don't know me from a bar of soap. So I'm Sharni, hello.
Speaker 2:Bar of soap.
Speaker 1:So I just knew, when I was creating this segment on the podcast, which is called Baby Proof Biz, I just knew I needed to get you on the podcast because one I've just admired your journey Like ever since I started following you. You've always lent into the hard shit, you know. You've always lent into the seasons and the changing and you've never been afraid you know from what I know from the outside to evolve and change and to embrace the seasons. So I knew I had to get you on the podcast. So my intention with Baby Proof Biz is really a bit of tongue in cheek, because I don't think you can ever baby proof your business or your life, but I wanted to talk to amazing humans like you who are trying to balance it all and trying to do it all. And yeah, I've just loved seeing all your hacks and all of the things. So I was like I need to get you on the potty just to chat it out.
Speaker 2:I love it. I love it. I'm so grateful to be here. When you messaged me, I was like this is amazing and also like genius for you, because now you get to learn all of this before you go into it Like it was a selfish.
Speaker 1:It was a selfish sort of thing. I was like I actually need this. But when putting it out to my community, there was so many other women who were like, yes, I don't just want to be swept up into the season of motherhood, I still want to have my purpose and my drive and that's what I've loved about what you've done, like you've created a whole podcast called More as you've birthed your beautiful daughter Eliza into the world. Like it's mind blowing. Why don't you catch us up to speed? Because the listeners don't know you as well as I feel like I know you. So catch us up to speed on like motherhood, business, life, all the things.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, where do I even start? Yeah, I I'll start by saying this my journey into motherhood wasn't planned. Um, it wasn't like. My husband and I had been together for 10 years Now 11 will be this year you know, married for eight, I think seven or eight, and we we didn't plan this journey, and so I think it really, in the beginning, caught me off guard.
Speaker 2:It was actually around this time last year that I got pregnant and it kind of threw me through a loop, because I've always been a really driven woman and I'm like, but I wanted to be in charge of the timeline, of when I was going to bring a baby into the world and, I won't lie, there was a big piece of me that wasn't sold on motherhood. I don't know if we have too many really beautiful examples of women doing it all in our lives. I think our generation kind of swung to the other end of the pendulum of feminine movement and we're going to just take on the roles of the men and we're going to crush it in life and business. And I was very much like that. I came from a single mom that sacrificed probably a lot of her dreams for my brother and I so that she could keep food on the table and keep us going. And so I just had a very driven personality and I did the business coaching and I did the other types of coaching and I didn't understand how being a mother was going to fit into the equation of me being a driven woman. And so when I found out I was pregnant, it threw me through a loop and a lot of my pregnancy threw me through a loop. It's crazy because I have a lot of friends who are trying to become moms and it's what they want more than anything in the world. And then here I am, like I'm not sold on this whole mom thing, guys. So I feel guilty. And there's motherhood.
Speaker 2:The pregnancy in and of itself was a journey. I think we all go on a journey during pregnancy that we need to go on to become the moms that we're supposed to be for these little ones that are coming through. And then when my daughter was born you know day like seven I was like how could I have imagined my life without her? Like I could.
Speaker 2:Becoming a mom was the most natural thing ever, and actually it felt more natural for me to be a mom than me being an entrepreneur, but I still had all these passions as an entrepreneur, and it's weird because I shut my business coaching business down a couple of years ago, and so I was like these new passions were emerging while I'm a mom, you know, and I just gave birth, and I feel like I'm like being asked to now give birth to these new inventions that are coming through.
Speaker 2:And so it's been such a journey of not really having a strong identity outside of motherhood, but knowing that I'm supposed to be doing so much more than motherhood, and knowing, though, that motherhood is still meant to be the core of it all, but not at the sacrifice of my daughter, but also not at the sacrifice of my own dreams, and so it's been a really wild, beautiful journey over the last almost 14 weeks of being a mom, and one that I'm so, so, so, so, so grateful to be on and I, you know, never planned it but I don't think I could have planned it anymore perfectly.
Speaker 1:I feel like the best stuff is never planned right. It just happens and we've just got to go with it. I resonate with so much of your story, especially the part around. You know, like a big part for me was letting go, of not fully letting go but redefining my identity, of not someone who just runs a business and is an entrepreneur, but someone who is a mother too. So what were your expectations, kind of going into this next season? Or like your, you know, preconceptions of motherhood, business, like your passions et cetera, Like, were there any sort of ideas where you thought?
Speaker 2:oh, that'd be easy or that'd be hard. Honestly, I thought it was all going to be really hard. We're told, especially in the early postpartum, like not even like birth, and then, postpartum, we're fed so many stories of other women's experiences and other women's stories, and then, unfortunately, because we've never done this before, we really do internalize so many of them. And when you internalize them and take them on as your own, you then can look forward at this journey into motherhood and not be too excited about it. And so I was actually experiencing a lot of people's stories, a lot of what I saw, and I was expecting that things were going to be really difficult.
Speaker 2:Postpartum, especially those first few months. What do you hear everyone say, like you're never going to sleep, you're going to be so tired, you're going to be so you know just overwhelmed. And so that's what I was expecting. But I did this thing during pregnancy that I decided to do during postpartum, which was I'll listen to people's stories, because everyone's got to tell you whatever they want to tell you. Right, I'll listen to the stories and also take them, find the golden nuggets that I want and then leave the rest behind and then realize that I can create just like how I created a completely different life than I did. You know that I had six, seven years ago. I can create that in motherhood as well.
Speaker 1:And so.
Speaker 2:I it was expecting, honestly, the worst. I was expecting to be exhausted. I was expecting everything to be so difficult and I I think entrepreneurship teaches you how to juggle a lot and how to remain calm in the chaos, and how to have a vision and let the vision drive you, and not the day-to-day you know whatever is coming up, and that truly helped me so much. It's I don't know if it's like I expected the worst so that I got the best, but I really did expect the worst, because that's all. That's all I heard from women.
Speaker 1:So I feel like this moment is going to be really expansive for women listening who are either thinking that they want to conceive or they're pregnant. What can we tell them? That is like the golden nuggets, like can we plant some amazing subconscious seeds here that they're going to listen to that and be like yes, jenna said this was right. Like let's do it, not holding you to anything, by the way.
Speaker 2:Honestly, it is that you can create your own experience in motherhood in early postpartum days, you know, I think that these little babies come into the world and we then think to ourselves, okay, they've got to sleep, I have got to give my vision and what I think I need to be doing right now and I really believe that when you just connect so deeply with this baby, you guys work it out and, yes, you're a partner, but, honestly, men are kind of useless, the first month at least. They can't do anything. They really can't. So, like, the man's job is to take care of you and then your job is to take care of the baby, and if you can set that up in your home, you are going to be golden because you're then going to be supported and taken care of. But your job truly and the man's a part of it kind of but is to get to know this little baby.
Speaker 2:And once you get to know that little baby, and then you learn their natural cadence, their natural rhythm, you definitely like call in some experts. You know, like I've definitely consumed some people that were sleep experts, that feeding experts, and I just would listen to what they said and I was like, okay, but what does this really mean? And then, when I got to the root of it and I applied that to me and my daughter, it was seriously simple. Like I said to the other day, I recorded a podcast. I'm like I have more energy than ever before.
Speaker 2:I'm more organized than ever before. I have more of a vision than ever before, and I think it's because you kind of have to be, you know, like you don't really have a choice, and so I like to see that as actually a good thing, where it's like I only do have two to three hours a day to work, but do you know how much more productive I am in those two to three hours and then I can be super present with my daughter. So just, you know, get to know your little one. Everyone's going to. Every baby's going to be different.
Speaker 2:If it's having a difficult this is a huge kicker for me If it's having a difficult time with anything that should be natural, like feeding and sleeping, go see a specialist. There's probably something off and the moment that you work through it it's fine. Like my daughter, her latch was really tough so we had a really hard time feeding the first few days and she had a really hard time sleeping on her back for longer than an hour. And then I took her to a chiropractor and she's like oh my God, she's so tight from birth and all babies get tight, of course. Look what babies have to do for birth, you know. And she's like let me just work it out. Five sessions later my daughter was sleeping and feeding was easy. So like, lean in on that intuition and like the things that they're supposed to be doing. If they're not doing it, just go get help and then you'll be right on your way.
Speaker 1:I love that In your such thing as a bad sleeper, it's like they need help.
Speaker 2:It's like a little adjustment or, you know, going to the Cairo. It's like you get them back into what they're here to do, which is so natural. We do that really fast. Like we do that as a society. Like, do you have a good baby, is she sleeping? Like we have this thing where women will ask you how is she sleeping, is she good, is she a good baby? Like the number of times that people ask me is she sleeping, is she good, is she a good baby? Like the number of times that people ask me is she a good baby? And I said I said, well, what's your definition of a good baby? Yeah, well, she's sleeping. I'm like, so she's not sleeping, she's a bad baby. I'm like if she's not sleeping, there's something off. And like they, they want to sleep. Of course we all want to sleep, do they know? Night from day? Not for a while, but but that's for us to figure out for them.
Speaker 1:They're such good reminders. I know like you're such an organizer and you're so planned and watching your journey. You know, going into birth, like I know there were so many things you were doing for your body. Was there anything you were preparing like whether it's in the home environment or, you know, with business, or the projects that you had that were really, you know, beneficial in setting up that sort of first 12 weeks to be, as amazing as it has been.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. I mean I just planned on me not wanting to do anything for 12 weeks. Now that wasn't the case. I mean I was like, at probably week three, I was like, all right, I'm good. Some women, though, want the 12. Some women want 18. So I just planned on being like offline and just gone for 12 weeks, and I think that that gave me such permission to just show up however I wanted to show up.
Speaker 2:I don't have to show up to sell something. I don't have to show up to sell something. I don't have to show up to run the business, like everything is set I had in my programs or like my membership. At the time, I had all of the recorded videos that were going to be dripped out. I had the emails that were set to go, like I just had everything, like from a system standpoint, set to go for 12 weeks, and then I found that I was actually excited to create after just a few. So don't put the pressure. That would be my number one piece of advice. Don't put pressure on yourself to have to go back at a certain time If you have the luxury of doing that I realize that not everyone does, but if you can set things up before to give yourself that time you're going to be able to just not have to worry about it and then you're going to actually be able to be a mom.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, like those, those first few weeks in the first month of motherhood is is the most important for attachment, for your, like your child to have secure attachment. It's most important for your child to not have cortisol spikes. It's so important for your child to experience love and nurturing and care and tenderness, like it is brain development. It's so important for your baby to have mama there, like there. Not like creating content and then having to be there, but like there. And if you want to create content because it gives you life to give back to your baby, that's amazing. But just don't put the pressure on yourself.
Speaker 1:I want to dive into this because I heard you mention this on a podcast the other day that like the difference that your baby feels when you're present with them and you're engaging and you're excited, versus if you're on your phone with I can't remember what you call it like dead face or something.
Speaker 1:I can't remember what you called it. Can you explain this? Because this it makes so much sense, but it was mind blowing and I think for women who are trying to juggle it all, they can think, oh, just multitask, but it's like it's actually doing detrimental effects to the baby.
Speaker 2:It's a hundred percent. I think that we are the generation of multitaskers. Let's be honest, like we truly are, like like, which is a study in and of itself. They have studied that nobody multitasks well, we can't multitask well, and so but that's a story for another day. So they've done these studies. It actually it started off like before phones were a thing I want to say it was like in the eighties or something.
Speaker 2:And so they've got this baby and then they have the mom and the mom's giving this attention to the baby. And how do we give attention to babies? Through our faces, through our voice, through our hands, right? And so all of those things together we're giving attention to this little one, and that's actually how the baby learns, right? Babies learn and children learn through observation, they learn through communication, they learn vocabulary, they learn through us. So they had the baby and the mom, right, and they've redone the study many times and the mom's giving back to the baby.
Speaker 2:And that's so important for brain development in the first year that when a baby does something, you react in some way, shape or form. Right, it's like the give and the return and it's helping them form the synapses that lay the foundation for their brain development later on in life. And so they're doing this with the baby and then all of a sudden, the mom looks aside. So it looks like you're looking at the baby right, at the baby right, but like you're looking past the baby and she stares at something let's say it's the phone and her face goes dead right and dead face like still face, like it's just like dead and you still can be talking to the baby, like right now I'm not looking at you. I'm still talking to you but you don't feel as connected because I'm not looking at you. But the baby starts to try to get the mom's attention back, even though she's still speaking, trying to get the attention back because the baby's not getting what it needs to get to form a relationship and to learn. So the baby at first does like a little noise, right, and then the mom just doesn't really react and then it does a throw and then it does a scream and then it does a cry and it literally within seconds is elevated cortisol through the roof, so high because it's stressed out that it's not getting what you need. Now, unfortunately, what happens over time with that is the baby then just stops trusting you, the baby stops connecting with you and then the baby is going to internalize that and get really complacent and just like no one's here.
Speaker 2:For me, and what's wild is that that actually is to the baby is a form of emotional neglect and a child like a baby who has emotional neglect over time, that is traumatic to a developing brain, that's traumatic to a developing body. So what you said is we want to be multitaskers and we're so good at multitasking Like I'll do an Instagram post while my baby's right here, and after I saw that, I made a commitment where I'm like I'm not going to be on my phone near my baby Now, I never, ever, ever have my sound on, but I'll turn it on when I'm with my daughter and so if my mom calls or my dad or like somebody that I want to be connected to and I'm with her, then I'll have that as an option if I want that, and I'll take pictures of her every once in a while, but for the most part, my phone's not around because I don't want her. Associating time with me means I'm not important because the phone is more important. Now, that's just as a baby.
Speaker 2:Now think about that as, over time, right, I've worked with children throughout earlier years in my life and you do that to a four-year-old, you do that to a two-year-old, you do that to a seven-year-old. Eventually, it's like I'm not important. The phone's more important. And I think, in a world that these phones are so addicting to all of us, every single one of us has an issue with it. Let's like that's just the reality of it. It's how they create them. I think it's so important to not let that addiction affect these developing kids who just need love and attention.
Speaker 1:And you said something beautiful and it was from a study as well. Well, that it's like the first year we think, oh, they're fine, then they're young, it's not going to matter, but it's like the first year. No pressure is like, where they develop everything like their nervous system and it's like I heard this other quote.
Speaker 1:It was like the first 40 days sets your baby up for the next 40 years and it's like okay, cool, so what? Can you give us some tools Like what are you doing with Eliza to like set up the foundations for these next 40 years? Isn't that crazy to think it's crazy.
Speaker 2:Literally no pressure, like being a mom is the most. Again, it wasn't my, it wasn't my plan, but, like, now that I'm a mother, I'm like this is the most honorable job that I think I ever could have asked for in the entire world, right, cause, like you truly are responsible for this little one, and again, so is the dad, but there's a connection with the mom. If you're breastfeeding, there's a connection with the mom that just that just can't be replicated any anywhere else. So, yeah, so the the the other, the other reality is that our brains are developed in I kind of think about it in layers, right, and so the first year is the foundation of the brain developing and if you miss parts of the first year, you can't make them up later on, like it's, you just can't.
Speaker 2:So we need those foundations to be set strong in the first year. How do you do that? Honestly, the biggest thing is love and attention. Yeah, it's so easy. It's so easy, it's so simple. Now, of course, there's other things, like the contrast cards and helping them track and talking to them, but when they make noises and coo and my daughter, at this point, almost 14 weeks, she's cooing and she's laughing, then I coo and laugh back and I talk back to her, I bring her around, I narrate our life together, I take her to different places. You know, a lot of people are like it's the first year, it doesn't matter. They have 1 million synapses like a minute or a second, I forget which one that are being formed in their mind every single day. Amazing, like, and it's it's our job to help them form it.
Speaker 2:And so again like are we forming it for dead faced? Are we forming it by showing them screens? You know one of Dr Amen. He's an amazing psychologist and does so much work in the you know neurology, brain scans, all the things, and he says that I think it's the American, I'm sure it's similar in Australia, but Department of Pediatrics says no screens before the age of three, and he was like it should be before the age of six. That's way too young because their brains are being developed, and to then wire them so quickly with our phones and devices it's just so much for them.
Speaker 2:So going slow and honestly that's been one of my favorite things about motherhood is it's slowed me down so much. Go slow, read a book. It takes you an hour to read a book who cares? It takes you an hour to do a workout who cares? Like, as long as they're there with you and they're doing life with you, that's the best for their brain development it's so, so good and like back to the tv shows and everything.
Speaker 1:It's like you see this shit that they put on there and it's like high dopamine. Like you know, colors, sounds literally crack cocaine to their brain.
Speaker 1:It is, and it's like imagine, you know and no, no judgment everyone's on their own path, but it's like having your baby exposed to that, what it sets up for them in terms of, like, the attention they're needing and the stimulation they're needing from such a, such a young age. That scares the shit out of me. I'm sure there's going to be a day when you're like just put YouTube on, I can't handle this. But you know it's, it is wild and it's like I love that you've touched on like these things. They're so simple to do, just like being present with your baby, but it just sets them up with like a lifetime of just foundations and like a solid nervous system. It's beautiful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's so true. When I was a teacher, I taught in a kindergarten through fourth grade building, and a lot of my work in my master's degree was studying the use, and this was, mind you, 2012. So a minute ago.
Speaker 2:That was not five years ago like my brain thinks it is and like that's not even close. But I did a lot of studies on the implications of tablets, like of iPhone or pads, with children and that was in 2012,. Right, and now look at how much faster they are and how much more addicting we are. Addicted we are to them. But back then you know, the work that I was doing and the studies that I was reading were just around how those earlier ages right Like zero to seven, let's say, when a child's brain is being developed, when you're throwing in these things, that it's so much, it's so fast. We are not meant to experience that as little kids. We're not even meant to as humans. That's why I think so many of our nervous systems are fried.
Speaker 2:Then tension like ADHD, whatever. If you believe in the diagnosis or not, it doesn't matter. But ADHD anxiety, crazy rates in school, huge increases in school, and if you look at it, there is a correlation. Now I also get it. It's hard, it's hard. I am grateful that I got to be like a world's greatest aunt before I became a parent, but I've had my nephews for years, I've watched them for years and they're seven and four and I get it Like if they're having a crazy day and I'm tired, you know it's throw something on, but I look at that and I'm like, well, I can't do that. They don't. What is that teaching them? You know, what is that teaching my daughter? Just, I care too much about peace for them to have that be a part of their life 100%, so beautifully said.
Speaker 1:You posted a quote the other day which I absolutely loved. I'm going to read it so I don't butcher it. The secret to your life is hidden in your daily routine and I know you're such like a sucker for a habit, a ritual, stacking all of that. Can you. Can you talk me through, like why this quote changed your life and what's this impacted for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Well, I think that we, we dream so big. Right, being a mom, not a mom, it doesn't matter. We dream so big and we often don't realize that it's the unsexy things every single day that are going to get you there, and it's like a daily routine, a habit. We often don't consciously build habits, and so what happens if we don't consciously build them is we just leave our subconscious up to just kind of running rampant. And we all know this. I'm sure if you listen to this podcast, they're into personal growth and they know this. But 98% of the things that we do every single day are what we did the day before. And that's what happens when we're not consciously choosing what we're doing and we're letting the subconscious. We just live by habit.
Speaker 2:And so I love looking at how can I, every single day, consciously integrate something so that that will then be the domino effect to set me up for success later on. And it's funny because we hear that and it's like I have to consciously do something every single day. We're lazy, we don't want to do that. We're lazy as humans. So I just become obsessed with how can I create something to have it? How can I create something to be such a part of my routine that it's so automatic I don't even think about it. And then that's where the kind of the habit stacking comes in, you know, and the different ways that you can do that.
Speaker 2:There's so many different things, but I just truly believe that that's how we make success just a natural by-product of who we are and that's how we make peace and happiness just a natural by-product of who we are. So I just become obsessed with studying all that stuff and integrate it. I love using myself as like a, just like. I'm just I'm learning, like I'm exploring, I'm like, well, let me go do this. Does it work or does it not? Science says it should, but does it? You know, I just love living that way and just using my life and myself as one grand experiment and I'm pretty sure you're a three five, aren't you in human design?
Speaker 2:No, I'm actually two, I'm a two, four A two, four.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm like you live. There's three, five, energy like the experimenter. Yeah, and what?
Speaker 2:did you say Well, because I think that that's how we find what works for us. Yes, you know, like three, five or not, like I'm like that's how, because I can read atomic habits. It doesn't work for me because that was him and his philosophy right. But I can read and learn and understand habits and actual change and then take okay, let me just try this. Does it work? Does it not?
Speaker 1:No, it doesn't Okay that sucks.
Speaker 2:Does it work, does it not? Yes, it does. How can I add to this? I really believe that's how we actually can consciously build our lives, versus just subconsciously, you know, following what some guru on the internet tells us.
Speaker 1:you know, what I've loved and what I'm kind of hearing is you've been so intentional about this chapter of motherhood and you haven't just, like you know, gone with the flow and thrown everything you know into the wind and just hope for the best. It's like you've actually set yourself up with, like you know, little goals and little things, and you mentioned on your podcast the other day you did it's almost a little dopamine checklist. Can you talk everyone through? Cause I was like, oh my God, you are speaking my language, I need this. Talk us through like, what this looks like for you and how this has, like, benefited you.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm obsessed with understanding and learning about dopamine because it's truly like the neurochemical that helps us set up for everything else. Serotonin is great, oxytocin is great, but dopamine gets us going. It brings us to the finish line and then it sets it up again. It's literally what gets us motivated to do anything in life.
Speaker 2:And when I went through a battle with depression, I realized I was incredibly dopamine depleted. I was a business coach and I was in this world and just this whole entire environment of just like chasing the next, chasing the high, let's go next, like set the new goal, and I've always been a perpetual goal setter and I've always just worked my tail off to crush it. And so when I let everything go, I realized I'm so depleted in dopamine and what I didn't want to do was then just go into something new and then just follow the same patterns. And so I have become so obsessed with like naturally understanding and like leveling off my dopamine so that I'm not getting these crazy spikes, because when we get these crazy spikes in dopamine, we're going to get an equal and opposite crash.
Speaker 2:I actually have a podcast coming out on Wednesday about this and it's very important to talk about because, as humans, so many things we set up our lives so that things give us these hits of dopamine. And, unfortunately, these cell phones that we have that you know we touch every single time that we go on them. It's dopamine, it's dopamine, it's dopamine. So I like to unplug and just naturally do things in my life that can support my dopamine, because if not, I'm not going to be motivated to do anything and I will literally just sit at home all day long. I know that about myself. I will do absolutely nothing and I'll be happy about it-ish. So I love setting myself, I love setting myself up and you know what are my goals for the week and what are my intentions for the week and then checking them off. Just that. Setting the goal of this is what I want to do and then checking it off. It's so good for our confidence and it's so good for our natural dopamine levels.
Speaker 2:So I actually did it beginning of postpartum. I didn't share this in the podcast, but I did it when I was newly postpartum and nobody tells you about new postpartum. It's a whirlwind because all of a sudden you have a baby right.
Speaker 2:And you just went through everything that you went through and you're like I was pregnant and now I'm not, and hormones and all the things. So I was like you know what? I need something for myself. I need to feel like me, because all of a sudden I'm a mom and I love this. But I know that I'm not going to be able to be a good mom if I'm not good with myself.
Speaker 2:So I had a list on my phone it's probably still there I haven't used it in months but and it said things for Jen and things for Eliza and so all of the things for me. My goal was to do three a day and it was simple, like get sunshine, cause you're not really supposed to go on walks the first week. So it was like go outside and get sunshine, dip your legs in the cold, plunge ice your face, wash your face, take a shower, do a sits bath. And then it was like diaphragmatic, breathing, red light therapy. So there was like and then I would, just my goal was to check three off. Then I had things to do for Eliza and it was like go get sunshine, tummy time back, play time.
Speaker 2:That was probably about it, and my goal was to check three off for Eliza and I did this every single day and I was like every day I would go to bed and I was like I crushed it today because I checked three off the list and now, mind you, if you think about what those were, they were things that filled my cup up and they were things that made like poured back into me, and so I did that for probably like the first month postpartum, and then I started to expand the list and then, when I got in the habit of being a mom and the routine of being a mom, and now I just do it in other areas of life, so right now it's like go on my 45 minute walk workout, red light journal and my water intake, and here's the kicker. Like two of those are really easy. They're already a habit, but I cross it off anyway because it keeps you going and makes you excited to continue on. So make it easy and have fun with it.
Speaker 1:I think it's so good for, you know, moms who are either like entrepreneurs or, you know, in corporate, and it's like they're so used to like tick off. You know in corporate and it's like they're so used to like tick off, tick off, tick off, and it's like this what would it like high output, you know careers, and it's like to actually translate that and put that into motherhood is just so good, like I know. I'm going to get such a kick from, from doing that and just taking things off my list, even just like washing my hair. I'm like, okay, yeah, beautiful, I've clocked today.
Speaker 2:It was literally it Every day. It was like shower, yes. And I was like okay, I showered, today I've killed it, I've literally crushed it.
Speaker 1:today I showered.
Speaker 2:This is great Good for me. Oh, that's so good, so important.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do with those things for self-care you know like and especially postpartum, when you everything's changing, your identity is changing, your body is changing. You know to have something that you can anchor in, that is going to support your neurochemicals that are important. You don't need to support your oxytocin You're getting plenty of that with baby snuggles but like the dopamine is just. It's so important because it's so easy to just be unmotivated. And I knew for myself too.
Speaker 2:I did a lot of understanding of postpartum depression and if you ever have struggled with depression or anxiety before which is a lot, a lot, a lot of people, even if it's undiagnosed then the likelihood of you experiencing postpartum depression goes up by like 80%. And so I was. You know I've got major depression in my family. I battled it a couple of years ago and I just knew the likelihood of me having postpartum depression was going to be high. So instead of thinking it's so crazy when people talk about anything mental health, it's like this like gremlin is in the corner and it's just going to like jump out when you least expect it, I'm like hold on. If I can understand what causes postpartum depression and then I can understand that I might be able to do some things to mitigate it or to not make that my reality, then let me see what I can do. And so the big piece of that puzzle, too, was making sure my dopamine levels were good, and that's another thing that helped me.
Speaker 2:I had no baby blues. Baby blues are like a lower Postpartum depression is many weeks. Baby blues is like a couple of days. You get like this debate, like you're just sad, and I didn't experience any of that. I didn't experience any postpartum depression.
Speaker 2:I had absolutely zero anxiety, a lot of women I think it's like 80% of women, or 65% of women experience postpartum anxiety and, like I, was the best mental health you know ever, and I truly think it's because of little things like that that sounds so silly but are doing so much underneath the surface that are really really, really helping you?
Speaker 1:Was there anything else, like I know you've spoken through the dopamine, was there anything else that you did to really set yourself up to mitigate that, that postpartum depression?
Speaker 2:Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's that, obviously making sure that the things that I was doing were things that were like giving me life.
Speaker 2:I have a really amazing community here you know, and I do recognize that that's not the case for everyone, and whoever you have near you lean on them and set something up before you even have the baby. So one of my good friends had a meal train set up for us before we months before we had the baby, and so I knew that three days a week people were bringing us food and I had like I leaned hard on my friends Like I was like, can you make me those lactation muffins?
Speaker 1:Those were so good, like I'm not getting up my mom again.
Speaker 2:I know that this isn't the case for everybody, but my mom came to visit for two weeks. I honestly did not think I was going to want her anywhere near me. I was like I think I'm just going to want to be like in mom mode, and having someone there that wasn't my husband that was a woman who knows what I'm going through was the best gift that I ever could have received.
Speaker 2:Like truly the best gift I ever could have received. I asked my friends to come over. I'm like, will you come do my laundry? Like you know, my husband went back to work pretty quickly and so I just I leaned on my support system, but I set a lot of that up before and I think that that was huge, like just to know you're there. Also, plan on just being real and raw with anything that you're experiencing. Again, I'm grateful for my community and my friends.
Speaker 2:A lot of my friends had babies right before me, like a year before me, and so I knew when I was going to start resenting my husband. I knew when I was going to be annoyed about something. I kind of knew that I was already set up that that was going to happen, but it just kind of supported me in normalizing any of the struggles I was having instead of feeling like I was really alone in them. Postpartum it's weird because you have this baby and you're so fulfilled as a mom, but it is lonely because nobody's really there with you. Yes, my husband was, but nobody's really there there, and so lean on people that have had children close in timelines so that, like you can just quickly send a text or like hey, she's not sleeping, what the hell do I do? And you can just, you know, have your army of people that are helping you. It's so important. I think I would have really struggled if I didn't have that. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think something you said before was like be really specific in your ass. Don't just be like I need help. Be like I need help with the washing on Wednesday, or like you know, being really specific and like allowing people to help you. I know a big pattern for mine is actually receiving help. That's going to be a big thing for me. It's like my gosh, it's yeah, but it's, it's what we need. It's so what we need. So what we need, and we'll be able to kind of like pass that forward when you know we've come out of like this season as well. Um, so let us know how we can connect. Tell us more about the more podcast, um, and just all the things you're doing, because I know everyone's just going to be loving everything that you've said today oh, I love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm, I'm on instagram. You can find me. I'm there all the time. That's my. I love creating content. It's my favorite thing and I love connecting with people and helping people in any way. And then, yeah, I've got my podcast, the more podcast, and it's my passion project that I've wanted to start for years and years and years and years that I just never did because, you know, I just never did for whatever reason. And that's my place that I'm all of the things helping people just get more out of life.
Speaker 2:You know I think that everyone has this feeling that there's something more to life than this, and we either go for it or we don't.
Speaker 2:you know, and I know that when the time comes that I'm no longer on this earth, I would love to just know that I went for it, and I would love for my daughter to know that I went for it. You know this earth. I would love to just know that I went for it, and I would love for my daughter to know that I went for it.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of games that we play in our mind, and when we can override them and just go after whatever that more is and really play full out in this human experience, I think that's one of the most fulfilling things that we ever can do for ourselves, and I'm grateful that I was a teacher for as long as I was, because I saw the direct correlation between mom and home life and what in a child and how they grow up, and I know that the best thing ever for a kid is to lead by example and to unconditionally love them. And so you know, it puts a whole nother perspective on more, too in motherhood. It's like I want my daughter to go after everything that she wants and be scared, but do it anyway and you know, and live out her little mission that she has. So it's my job to do that as well, I love it.
Speaker 1:Well, eliza chose so well to chose you as her mom in this lifetime and I have absolutely loved today's conversation with you and, yeah, there was so many times I had full body chills and goosebumps just with everything you were saying. So I appreciate your time. I feel like I might hear Eliza crying in the background. I don't know, so I will let you go, but everyone who's tuned in, thank you so much and, yeah, please follow up Jenna on Instagram. I'll link everything in the show notes and so grateful for your time.
Speaker 2:Thank you, babe.
