Biz Shiz with Shani Timms
Biz Shiz is the podcast for open & honest chats about the REAL SHIZ that goes on in biz.
This is THE business podcast for Soul-Led entrepreneurs who are ready to do business differently. I am here to help you bridge the gap between old school business & modern day spirituality, where we weave the WooWoo, ToDo & the delulu.
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Biz Shiz with Shani Timms
Baby Proof Biz feat. Emma Maidment on Finding Flow In Business & Motherhood : Automation, AI & Alignment In Business & Family Life
On this week's episode, I sit down with my good friend Emma Maidment to chat all things motherhood, business and creating a conscious and connected family unit.
In this chat, we dive into the unexpected ways motherhood transforms entrepreneurship—from the limitations of time to the shifting of priorities and the complete reinvention of what "success" looks like.
Emma shares how she went from resistance to fully embracing AI and automation systems that now form the foundation of a new business venture with her partner Tyson.
For couples navigating a parenting and business partnership, Emma offers practical wisdom on establishing clear boundaries between work discussions and family time.
We dive in to:
- Expectations vs reality of motherhood and how initial assumptions about working with a newborn often don't match realities
- The importance of pivoting your business model when you have children rather than trying to force old structures to work
- How embracing AI and automation can create space for focusing on your zone of genius when time becomes more limited
- Setting clear boundaries when working with your partner, including dedicated business communication channels and non-negotiable connection time
- The danger of glorifying burnout and martyrdom as a badge of honor in motherhood
- Creating a long-term vision that values sustainability over short-term hustle
- Modelling healthy boundaries and self-care for children to establish positive patterns for their future
- The value of planning for imperfect weeks rather than perfect ones to accommodate the unpredictability of family life
This is SUCH an an amazing episode, and there are SO many nuggets of wisdom in there for mothers, mothers to be and business owners.
About Emma:
Emma Maidment is a wellness entrepreneur, speaker, business mentor and author of ‘Find Your Flow. She is currently focussed on helping leaders build magnetic personal brands that expand their impact, income, and freedom.
After leaving a thriving career in PR to pursue entrepreneurship, Emma built multiple six-figure businesses rooted in wellness, personal development, and brand strategy. Now, she teaches soul-led entrepreneurs how to leverage their expertise, scale sustainably, and create a business that supports their life - not consumes it.
She’s been featured in top publications, speaks at global events, and co-founded Flow States Collective - a coaching platform for business, body, and mind. She also co-founded Flow OS, a tech company helping entrepreneurs automate and scale.
When she’s not mentoring high-level clients, recording The Flow Lane Podcast, or scaling her businesses, you’ll find her adventuring with her husband Tyson and two boys, River and Osha, chasing waterfalls, or sipping coffee by the ocean. She’s an Aussie girl but currently based in Greece working on her next big project.
Connect With Emma:
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Welcome to Baby Proof Biz, a Biz Shiz mini podcast series for the woman who wants to balance business and motherhood, you know you're in the right place if you want to bake sourdough and build success, if you want to have the wholesome family life and the wealthy business life, and if you want to be a crunchy craft mom and a successful CEO. My name is Sharni Timms. I'm a brand and business coach and soon to be mama, and my intention for this podcast mini series is to bring you expansive conversations around business and motherhood that give you practical insights, tools and takeaways to help you have more than just a business, whether you have a family or wanting to start a family, or anywhere in between, or maybe you're eight and a half months pregnant, like me. Wherever you are in your journey, welcome to Baby Proof Biz and I hope you enjoy the show. Emma Maiderman, welcome to the Biz Shows podcast.
Speaker 2:Thanks for having me, Shani Tims.
Speaker 1:It feels like. So I'm like you're one of my very good friends and it feels so formal to introduce you on the podcast, but I feel like this has been a long time coming and I'm so excited for the chat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we always love a little yap, you and I, so let's see if we can keep this one actually on time. But yeah, I'm really glad to be here. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1:Well, I was like let's hit record, because I'm like I feel like all the juice will happen before we hit.
Speaker 2:you know the actual episodes, so um yeah, I'm that friend that sends the, like you know, 45 minute voice note message update, so you basically get a podcast from me pretty much every week, totally, totally, and I'm here for it.
Speaker 1:I'm like trying to fill the 10 minutes. I'm like I actually I don't know. I'm like what do I even have to talk about? Um, but I knew when I was creating this, this series baby proof biz. I was like I need to get you on One. I just look up to you so much in motherhood and life and you know and you're absolutely killing it in business as well. So it's like why not come on and talk about all the things? I know you speak so candidly and openly about motherhood, business and the challenges, but also like all the beautiful things as well. So it's a bit of a play on words. I think you can never baby proof your business, but we can do a few things to make things a bit easier for ourselves. I think yes, absolutely um.
Speaker 1:So maybe give everyone a little like elevator pitch or just like a rundown on your business and like who you are, what you do, etc yeah, so my name is Emma Maidment.
Speaker 2:As you guys heard before, I am, I guess, first and foremost, a mother and I have two little boys. I have a how old is he? 18 months old, and I have a four-year-old at the moment. So, as you can tell, I am a little bit tired from that. But I am an author of a book called Find your Flow, which came out last year, which was a massive moment, and I'm sure we'll dive into the complexities of that with having small humans and I guess I've spent the last 10 years working in the wellness space as a yoga, meditation teacher and then running our own coaching business and just so many different things.
Speaker 2:I think I would identify more as being an entrepreneur, in that my background was in, you know, pr and communications and I've really worked across a variety of industries. But essentially helping people that are soul-led, heart-led, purpose-driven brands or individuals to get really clear on who they are, who they want to be, and helping them amplify that message is what I'm really focusing on at the moment. So we have a business called Flow States Collective and we also have a, which I'm sure we'll touch on today, but a automations and AI business called FlowOS, which is kind of born off the back of us running businesses as parents and needing that extra automation support. So I work with my husband Tyson across both of those businesses, which is, I guess, another layer to the whole thing of dancing between parenthood and raising babies and businesses and partnerships and all those kinds of things.
Speaker 2:But yeah, essentially I do a lot of coaching, a lot of mentoring in this space. So I work predominantly. I seem to attract a lot of mums, I guess because I do speak so much about that as well in my messaging and I really like people to know that. You know, it is possible to have both.
Speaker 2:It just looks different, you know one of my core messages is like you can trace your dreams and your babies, but you have to be open to that, looking a lot different to, I guess, how you would imagine it for kids.
Speaker 1:So what were your preconceptions, you know, before you had kids? Be like I can do it all like motherhood business, Like what, what was the idea and what was the reality.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think the idea is that you think that you're going to have this baby and you're like sweet, like I've seen babies, they sleep a lot, like that looks easy, they'll just sleep, I'll work and get stuff done. When they sleep 'll have all this time they'll just be this cute thing that I dress up in like cute women outfits and bring them out to brunch with me and that kind of confirmation bias, depending on the temperament of your baby, but is more or less confirmed when you have a newborn. Personally, I know a lot of women struggle with the newborn stage. Personally, I went into it very, very prepared. We doubled down on our postpartum care.
Speaker 2:That newborn phase for me was the easiest, best part, like it was so beautiful. Yes, I was tired AF, but relatively easy. Right, the kid sleeps a lot, there's these pockets of windows, so that kind of met my expectation. But I guess what I didn't account for and I knew was coming was this I I guess change in identity of who I am, how I wanted to show up in the world and my capacity and where I actually genuinely want to spend my time.
Speaker 2:because pre-kids, you know you're very well, I was very, very work driven, very, very much, just like I was working on the business, I was growing the business like the business of Mrs Ventus, that that was my baby. And then suddenly you have this like beautiful little bundle of joy and you're like you know, yes, when they're young you can bring them everywhere with you, you can strap them on and kind of get to it. But also do you really want to, and this big part of you wants to be with that baby, wants to be in that phase. And you know we talk about baby brain. Postpartum brain is a thing and it's literally designed so that you can't think about anything else other than that child.
Speaker 2:So I found myself. One of the biggest surprises would be I'm like, okay, cool, yeah, I've got this dial. I get to work from home, my partner's supportive, I have so many things working in my favor compared to what I see other women having to navigate. And yet I'd be like on a call and you hear that baby crying and even though you know they are safe with dad, they don't need a feed, like they are okay, it's just this intrinsic, like your attention is fully pulled to that baby and you couldn't give zero f's about who you're kind of talking to. And that was a really challenging thing for me because I went from being someone that just gave to everyone, like I was just. I was like the number one cheerleader, coach, teacher, if I was. Whatever I was doing when I was teaching yoga, meditation, coaching I was like so invested in that client. I had very little boundaries because I was just like I'm gonna give you everything, everything and everything. And then you have this baby and you're when you kind of realize, wow, anything I do that takes me away from them. It comes at a price, like to my own nervous system, because my nervous system is wired to that child. So even though I knew they were in that next room, they were safe, all those kinds of things. It really surprised me, that feeling of wanting to be we're not wanting to be pulled away.
Speaker 2:And I remember when my first was he was four months old, so he still really young and I got this incredible opportunity to go and speak at the Cotton On offices down in Melbourne. I was living in Byron at the time, so it was literally a day flight. It was like fly at 6am, get there present. They had a driver lined up to pick me up, take me to Geelong. It was like bam, bam, bam, back to back, get back on the plane home. So I, so I was gone for like 12 hours and I cried the whole time leaving and I'd left milk he was fine. But also the complexities of like I had to take a breast pump. I had to pump every couple of hours, like and and and. To their credit, cotton on have a pumping room in their office, like they are so amazing, yeah, for brands doing that.
Speaker 2:But the feeling it was the feeling of it wasn't even mum guilt, it was just this natural instinct of like not wanting to be away from my baby, and even though it was one day, like one day in in his whole, entire babyhood that he was with his dad for that long, it's almost like it's still still impacted me.
Speaker 2:You know, that feeling of like having to leave him and how innately against my nature, that felt like and that was really confronting, because I didn't expect that, because you see women that like have babies and then they're just like pumping in the office and off they go back to work and it's not really spoken about. I guess that that biological need that you have it's not just the child that needs you, you need them, you're so wired, not just the child that needs you, you need them, you're so wired. So I guess that's what's caused me over the years to just constantly pivot in business and realign based on where the kids are at. What is my capacity to hold space for people? That's something that I guess yeah, expectation and reality really surprised me.
Speaker 1:So how did that change? How you want to show up in business, like you know, especially, that was quite a pivotal moment for you where you're like okay, I don't want to be away from my babies for like a day. What boundaries or what like changes did you make after that to be like no, I'm doing things differently from here on in?
Speaker 2:So I think prior to that, a lot of my business was based on me and my time and people. You know, at the time we were doing, a lot was kind of. You know, my son was born end of 2020. So during covid we built a massive community sharing yoga, meditation, fitness with them live um during lockdowns, and that created some codependent kind of relationships of people that really just wanted us and a lot of that business thrived off.
Speaker 2:The live interactions, right. People were like we don't want to, we like the, we like the prerecorded it's okay, but we just we love feeling this connection to you and we had like eight other teachers working for us. It was massive, but my classes were the most popular. People wanted me and and before kids, I'm like, of course, like this is what I do. I'm like this popular yoga teacher, amazing. And then you have kids and you're like it's not realistic for me to hold the fort here of doing the bulk of all this work because not only physically do I not want to do that, but it's, it's so distracting hearing the baby in the other room.
Speaker 2:My brain's not fully. All of these reasons, and so I realized okay, we have built a business model that actually isn't sustainable.
Speaker 1:We've hit breaking point.
Speaker 2:We've hit breaking point. Yeah, we've hit breaking point for how I actually want to parent and I actually don't have capacity to hold space for people that early postpartum in the way that I did prior, and this is something I've seen play out in both of my pregnancies.
Speaker 2:It's not till I get to about the 12 month mark that my like full capacity to genuinely hold space and be a hundred percent present with a client or with a student kicks in, and I know everyone's probably a bit different, but for me it's like something switches around that 12 month point hormonally maybe, I don't know but it's definitely caused me to pivot in terms of what I share, how I show up and what our actual business model really is.
Speaker 2:So we pivoted away from that and in hindsight it's been the best thing and it led to so many other opportunities and things. But you know, sometimes you're in a season of I'm just deep in motherhood right now and work isn't my priority.
Speaker 2:But I also think it's so amazing if you have a personal brand and you have this ability to keep kind of growing that in the background it all comes back around because, a lot of those when I was kind of quote unquote on maternity leave and just kind of sharing the day-to-day of oh I'm navigating new mom life and I'm not taking any new clients at the moment. It built this demand so that then when I did jump back in, I had no problem filling up whatever program or whatever it was that I wanted to do because I'd continued that community. So, yeah, it's. But but knowing that and trusting that, like trusting, it's okay for me to actually take a step back and completely pivot this business model. Like that business doesn't even exist in the same way as it did before at all, and let go of the staff and let go of the things, because you know, like this is actually not where we want to be putting our time and energy for the, for our family.
Speaker 1:Like we really want to design our businesses, for the freedom to be with the kids, to do all these kinds of things, to not be bound, um, by, you know, needing to constantly show up, live to something and support large groups of people in that way and and how did you kind of like what's coming up for me and I know this is going to be something that I'm going to navigate is like this, almost like business FOMO, of like, okay, I'm in a season of motherhood right now, but I see everyone else out there chasing their dreams and all this sort of stuff, and you kind of touched on it before. It's like you can have the success, but it just looks different in a different season. Did you have anything like that come up about, a bit of like business FOMO and be like I want to be doing all the things but like I'm really also enjoying the season of motherhood? Did that? Did that show up for you? A?
Speaker 2:hundred percent. It still does. Like, honestly, I used to do so much public speaking and like speaking to massive corporates and speaking at big international events, pre-kids and, like I mentioned before, I had that one little gig and I've done a couple of things here and there, and then my book tour and it's just reminded me that, like you're not in the season of that being reality and I see other people that are in that same era as me out there on the stages and I have to remind myself they don't have kids.
Speaker 2:this is their life this would have been my life if that was all I was continuing to focus on. But right now, the absolute organizational shit show of me trying to do something like that is literally a shit show. Like it is so much more than just like yeah, I'll say yes to that speaking gig. That's on this plane ride to you know this amount of way. It's the logistics of everything. Who's gonna look after the kids? My partner has to work on his stuff. Like it's. It's not just as simple anymore as being able to say yes to everything. So, yeah, 100 definitely. Face and still face that that it's not.
Speaker 2:It's not comparison, it's just that moment of like, oh, like I know I could also be doing that but also then coming back to like, what are my highest values in this moment? And this is why I like to do a value exercise every quarter, just because we evolve and change, and particularly when you become a mum, you're in this rapid period of uncovering these new layers of yourself, and so I like to check back in with okay, what's really important for me right now? What are the key focuses of the business and the brand right?
Speaker 2:now and I know that in a few years time, yeah sure the kids will be able to look after themselves a bit more. They can stay home with dad or a sitter or whatever, and I won't be, as they're not as dependent, so sure I could say yes to that gig. That's going to make me take me away for a couple of days but, right now with breastfeeding and all those things.
Speaker 2:It's. It's so tricky. Like for my book launch, I had a nine month old um and I took him with me and, oh my God, like I have never been more tired, more depleted, more stressed, like I was so sick and I'm one of those people that doesn't ever really take pharmaceuticals I was like give me the Sudafed.
Speaker 1:I need the hard stuff.
Speaker 2:I was so sick, like I was like so run down, but there was nothing. I could do about it. You know I'm like, okay, great, I'm in this hotel room, I'm waking up every 45 minutes with this teething child and I'm trying to like promote this book and show up and hold space and be in this community and the the reality. That hit me really hard but, also, it was this moment of going. Sometimes you have to push through that, because when is that opportunity going to come again?
Speaker 2:and so it's finding that edge of like. Okay, this is the. For me, that was like, this is the bare minimum I could kind of do to support that. Yes, I would have loved to have done an entire nationwide tour. Did I want to drag my family around through that? No, it just it didn't serve the needs of the family. And that's massive when you, when a big dream of yours is realized and this feeling of like, I don't get to actually give this everything I wanted to in the way that I thought it would look. So then you have to double down in other areas and see the opportunity. Okay, great, how can I like thank God for the internet? How can I double down on online exposure, on articles, on media, that things I can do that don't require me to, you know, physically be away?
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I've seen in what other authors do massive tours all around the country or the world and I'm like, oh, that would have just been like the best. But I'm like you know what that'll be? Book two book two exactly and I did the best I could with the capacity that I have at that time. And you have to just constantly come back to like what are my values, what's my capacity right now, because you don't know what the other person's got going on, you know like luckily they're single, with no kids, and that's why they're able to do that and it's, it's, it's also.
Speaker 2:You have to start thinking more what benefits the family and how does that impact the family unit as opposed to just me, and what benefits my career or my goals or my aspirations, which is is kind of big when you're used to just being under the stage your whole life, and so you have to think about the complexities of everyone.
Speaker 2:You know, even for me doing podcasts, doing calls and things like I have to factor that in around. Okay, are the kids either going to be asleep or is my partner going to be available to be with them? Like it's so much more complex than going sure. I'll jump on. Like that sounds amazing, it's. There's a lot more moving parts that you kind of have to consider.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like I'm kind of going through that now. It's like the breaking down of like the me, and then the like transition to the we, the family unit, and it is so weird because it's like the decisions we make as a solo actually don't just impact us anymore and it's like it impacts everybody. And what I loved like hearing about what you were just saying is like it so ties into the name of your book find your flow. And it's like you kind of had to surrender to like okay, this, these are the cards I've been dealt in this season like I'm obviously launching this book. It's like how can I make the most of this and how can I surrender to you know, okay, let's, let's market this online instead of doing it in person. And I really, really love like the cause and we've spoken about this before.
Speaker 1:It's like you I think you said that you used to kind of like repel the AI stuff and be like no, we're not doing AI, we're not doing AI, but then now AI is a whole part of your business. Like, talk us through the threads of like finding your flow and being like oh, fuck it. Like I've always said no to this, but like. But like let's just, let's just go with it and see, and now it's like such a successful part of your business, right so if you're, if you're maybe a psychologist or someone that way inclined, reading between the lines, you're listening to this going.
Speaker 2:Oh girl, you went from being totally selfish in your ego to having to think about other people. Um, and I think because, you know, prior to kids, my partner was in the same industry. We worked together, so there was never, ever anyone going you're working too much like, or you know, pulling me away from that. We just had this beautiful balance and rhythm. You know it's similar to what you and Blake have of, like you both really passionate about your work there's. It didn't feel like it was taking us away from anything and it was him that, like he's very tech savvy, like when I, when I look at my business and what's been successful, like I remember when I first met Tyson and I was running these like massive international retreats and he was like do you have like terms and conditions? Do you have a spreadsheet? Do you know how much money?
Speaker 1:that's so, tyson, why does he bring that stuff?
Speaker 2:yeah, there's money in the bank, money comes and goes, it just flow. He was like dying, which is what I do now when I work with clients. I'm like I'm dying. You need systems. What are you doing? But at the time I was just like it's working, it's flowing, there's money coming in, people are signing up. Who cares? There's no system, there's no way to rinse and repeat these.
Speaker 2:It was just I'm in my flow, what I thought it was right. But flow, you have to have boundaries. The river has to have a bank, Otherwise it is just a flowing rapid flood that causes mass destruction.
Speaker 2:And for me. I was like I'm in flow, yes, but I was just on this rapid, trying to plug holes as they popped up. There was no forward planning, there was no strategy. It was just like doing what I do. So step one was him really implementing just basic business systems. Really in hindsight, but made me go oh, I can see, here Is this profitable Is this not.
Speaker 2:Where is? Where? Am I spending too much time? What's the actual sales process for someone joining a retreat? Like those kinds of things. I started to dial in and then, yeah, he's just, he's just like. If you see him online you would think, oh yeah, like you, you know he's been in the fitness industry forever. He looks like this kind of like fitness dude, ex-footy player, uh, and he's just like a massive nerd he's such a tech guy, he's such a tech guy and so he's always done the back end of our website.
Speaker 2:He's always done that stuff and I've always just been like I don't want to know, I don't want to know, I don't want to. And when he first came to me was like was like you know, you could like plug in the stuff you're doing and AI could help you, like you know, with all the things from marketing to spreadsheets. And I was just kind of like no, only I can do it and this story, you can see this thread of like no, I'm the face of the business.
Speaker 2:No, I'm me, me, me, Only my writing is going to be good enough, only the way I write the email, only me. Spending six hours stressing over that sentence is going to make it impactful. And he just like you know, chips and chips and chips. And then I would see what he's doing and I'm like, oh, how'd you do that? And it's like I used I used AI.
Speaker 2:I'm like, hmm, interesting and so I started playing around with it and then I realized, wow, if you actually program this thing, it's like having a personal assistant, it's like having this person to. So for me now, as a mom, like I have one of the AIs we use so much AI. One of the AIs that I use I'll just have on voice note, because I have my best ideas sometimes when I'm like climbing a fricking tree with my kid and I'm like, oh, that's a genius idea, and so I'll just voice note hey, I have this idea ramp, like you know you've received a voice message from me.
Speaker 2:They can be a bit. We love the rambles. I'll just ramble to this ai and say, like, can you map this out for me? I'm going to come back and work on it tonight and then when I actually sit down in the windows of time I have to work. I have this like clear. It's not just like this scramble idea and it's giving me suggestions.
Speaker 2:Here's how you could implement this, here's how you could, you know, make a post about it or share this or whatever it is. It's like, oh, thank you, that has saved me just so much. It's made things so much easier. And so now we've really lent into. I mean, now we have a whole AI and automations platform and business, because it's just every little thing now, like going back and forth with someone finding time for a podcast or, like you know, a client switching dates when they're booking in, or an onboarding process, like all of that stuff. I was so doing manually and it was taking time and bandwidth. I'd be thinking, oh shit, I haven't got back to that person, I haven't given them a time, I haven't, you know. Now I just know it's all in a system.
Speaker 2:I literally can send someone a link and the whole process plays out for them, and that has just given me mental, like peace but, also, I guess, boundaries around, like how I'm spending my time, so that when I have these moments to work, I'm like working in my zone of genius and I'm not doing any of the busy work. I'm not doing any of the like chasing invoices or reminding people about this or, you know, webinar follow-ups or anything like that. The whole thing is just like a system that rinses and repeats itself, so that all I have to do is actually show up and be in my zone of genius and that is amazing because I genuinely thought that I would need to get to a point where I had a team of like 10 people to be able to fully support me to do
Speaker 2:that, and now we have, you know, a few people, like a few humans, on our team, but we also have, you know ai employees and they can do a lot of that heavy lifting, which is just. I get it now and it's funny because I was so resistant to any help or whatever for years I almost wore this badge of honor. It's like I can do everything and then you realize that's actually dumb. You cannot scale a business if you are doing every single task within it and then you become a mom and your time becomes so much more finite, like now.
Speaker 2:I have systems for everything for how I create content for how I do, like everything in business, is the system, because it also means that if I'm tired af and I have been up all night with the kids and I have no creative space, I'm not relying on that, I'm not going, okay, feeling into. Where's my creativity? Oh, it's gone.
Speaker 2:It died six weeks ago, in that sleep regression, I know this is the system, here's my idea bank from when I was feeling really creative. It's like it's all this process that enables me to just kind of work in a way that supports me to then also give my creative energy to my kids and to, you know, not feel depleted, not feel burnt out. So, yeah, yeah, massive, massive AI automations fan.
Speaker 2:Obviously it's amazing it's just it's really changed the game, you know, and also like, if you know, it's kind of like with like a side note, but people with that are resistance to Facebook ads, right, and it's like oh no, I could just do it all organically and it's like you could, but what if you paid like five bucks a day to get in front of the exact person that you wanted to be in front of? Wouldn't?
Speaker 2:that actually be a smarter use of your time than just trying to hack some algorithm. What if you use the two together? And I think that was kind of the mindset shift for me of like, what if you actually lent into these tools, lent into AI and technology as it evolves, so that you're not scared of it? So it's not this like oh, I don't know, like AI freaks me out. I don't want to borrow it because that is where the world is going and they'll become a time when people start blurring that line I'm sure that probably is already happening of human versus robot and, you know, becoming at one with it. We know that that's where the world is going.
Speaker 1:The transhumanism it's been coming for a really long time so it's like get on board as well, it's like get on board.
Speaker 2:Understand it, because ai will literally take your job unless you program it to help you with yours right so it's like which side of that wave do you want to be on? Do you want to be the person that in, in 10 years, is like? Now everyone's got an AI online coach that's doing all their things for them, and I'm left behind. So I really see it as, like we know, this wave is coming.
Speaker 2:Let's get educated and let's get on the front end of that and ride it through, rather than I mean being in a bad Will Smith movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, well, irobot, is that the one? Okay, didn't think it was going to take this turn, but how do you use AI? Do you weave AI in motherhood at all? Like is, are there things that you kind of like go to AI and be like, how would I navigate this, this situation, with my toddler?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what Parenting AIs are great, like I am not someone that reads. I don't like reading parenting books. I think that I don't prescribe to a certain style of parenting because I think that it can kind of box you in If I was going to say what kind of parent I would be. I think it's more about forming a relationship with that individual child and supporting them. That being said, there are things that come up where you're like is this normal for, like a four-year-old? I don't know what just happened to you.
Speaker 2:That being said, there are things that come up where you're like is this normal for like a four-year-old I don't know what just happened to you and you go to Google and it's just like but you can program, you know, chat, gpts and all sorts of different things to actually be an expert in childhood development, in whatever it is you're working with, and ask really specific questions. Hey, this is what's coming up. What are some tools I could use to help support that child? What are some ideas for you know we're on a homeschooling path what are some like Steiner Montessori based ideas for teaching my child XYZ concept that he's interested in? That's cool.
Speaker 2:Stuff like that that I would just be like racking my brain. How do I? I don't know.
Speaker 2:I never homeschooled a kid before I'd just be Googling it and then you kind of are so influenced by other people's perception, whereas AI, when it gets, if you ask it the right questions, and it gets to know you, it gets to know, like my mind will know what are my values, who am I, what do I stand for, what am I interested in, so that they give me information that's really relevant to like the style of parent I want to be or I am.
Speaker 2:So I am, so it's not just like trawling for hours and getting kind of like comparisonitis by all these other things. It's going oh, here's a hyper-specific answer to that question. So yeah, it a hundred percent is really helpful in in, I guess, collapsing time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I've seen people use AI for like all the things. Like even with my gestational diabetes, I'm like okay, like is this okay to eat? Can I do this, can I do that? And it's like it's it's almost taking over Google in a way, in the best way, cause it's more personalized and it's like it kind of knows you in this creepy, amazing way at the same time. Um, so we've spoken about amazing Tyson Um and I want to know, like, what are your biggest tips for navigating business, baby and doing business with your partner? Because obviously we're we've got that sort of coming up with Blake and I'm sure people listening they may be either in business or, um, you know, maybe working from home with their partner. How do you, how do you guys do it?
Speaker 2:Uh, another B Boundaries, boundaries.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, good.
Speaker 2:You have to have boundaries, you have to have to have communication. Um, it is just honestly, it's, it's. It's really hard, like I won't sugarcoat it it is. There are moments where you're just like, wow, this is this is a lot.
Speaker 2:You have to have a vision, you have to know where you are going and why are you doing this. So we have been in a period for the last couple of years. Once my second son like that my second pregnancy was really challenging, not for the pregnancy point of view, but just because of life. You know, after to give a bit of backstory, we were flooded in Byron when the floods happened three years ago and that I guess the the aftermath of that was so destabilizing for our family we lost a lot in our business. Like it was just aftermath of that was so destabilizing for our family. We lost a lot in our business. Like it was just it was a really, really challenging couple of years to build back up from.
Speaker 2:Um. So we we've been in really really low, challenging places of like how are we gonna make this work? Should we like pivot? Do we need to go back and get jobs? Like what does this look like? And just holding this vision of like this is what the vision we have for our family, and these are this is the plan. Stick to the plan.
Speaker 2:Like um leila homo homozy always says, like fuck your mood, stick to the plan and I would always look at that and judge and be like no, we need to work in a line in flow, yeah and then and now I realize, no, float needs fucking discipline.
Speaker 2:No, you swear away, it's fine, before your own swears back at me and I'm like, well, I kind of do swear, so how can I be? Um, you need discipline. It requires discipline and showing the fuck up when you don't want to like. There are nights sometimes where I I'm working till midnight. Yes, I love what I do. Yes, blah, blah, blah. But sometimes it's like I just have to get this thing done and I know it's one night of, you know, not holding that boundary of of sleeping, but knowing that this serves the higher purpose and just putting in the reps, putting in the work to do those things. So we've we've had periods of it being really hard, and now we're in that season where we're living overseas, we're living in Greece, we're buying property over here, we're living overseas, we're living in Greece, we're buying property over here, we're doing all these things that you see the reward paying off for that foundational work that you set up. So a big thing is don't skip the foundations.
Speaker 2:This is something that I did over and over again. I would just come up with a program and then I would just put it out there. Actually, spend the time building the automations, building the systems, building the processes. Obviously, you know minimal, viable product, yes, test, make sure there's a market, all that stuff. But double down on, make sure there's a system and a process and that it's repeatable. Look over from a business perspective what works, what doesn't, what is the thing that we can focus on that works the most and then leave the other stuff even if it's just stuff that you're like, oh, but I love doing that, whatever.
Speaker 2:You don't have the capacity all the time, so just focus on what works, what moves the needle, what actually moves you closer to your overarching goal. And then the challenge with that right is when you then have a partner that's equally as driven towards that vision and that goal. It can be very easy that every night you're doing this, working and talking about the business right, every text message, every encounter is like, oh, this client's doing this, or like I've got this idea, we should do this. Like I've just started collaborating together on a mastermind, bringing kind of, I guess, all of my like pr and messaging and branding with his systems and automations and all that together in this mastermind space, and so we're excited about it. It's like yes, like oh, we could do this, we could do this this person's in, this person's in.
Speaker 2:So there's this natural want to talk about it and I think that's okay. You know it's. It's a season of like that's great, but also having really clear, then boundaries. So we have at least one night a week where it's quote-unquote date night.
Speaker 2:Now we live in a foreign country. We don't have family around, so it's not realistic for us to leave our kids with anyone at this point. We've only been here for a few months, so I'm not at a point where I feel comfortable leaving them with someone. Um, so we have dates at home. We're like, okay, cool Saturday night, like the phones go down. We're not talking about work, which is really hard when you love it.
Speaker 2:I know we're not talking about that. We're gonna even try not to just talk about the kids because that's the other trap. Right, then you go. Okay, we'll talk about work now, we'll just speak about our kids the whole time. We try to have that as a time of genuine connection, like whether that's intimate connection or just conversation or doing some activity, you know, whatever it might be, like playing a board game or even just watching a movie together. Whatever it is something that actually just connects us outside of those hats that we wear as just parents and business partners and brings us back to us. And they are like they're some of my, my favorite nights of the week, like they're just so.
Speaker 2:It's so beautiful just to connect with the person beneath all of that and to just be like, wow, look what we've. Who would have thought like it always comes out? Like who would have thought that moment that we met, that here we would be now with these two children and this business and all these things that we're building. It's really amazing. So I think, really honoring that and that literally comes from boundaries, clear communications. So the other thing if you are actually running a business with your partner, treat it as you would any other employee. It's really easy to just, over the dinner table, be like oh way, um, you know, shani's in for the mastermind. Um, blah, blah blah. She said this and then doesn't get action to whatever.
Speaker 2:So we literally have trello boards, slack chat, all these things that our team are across, but that that's how we communicate about that, and I am so guilty of just getting excited and texting because I'm with the kids a lot more than tyson is, so I'll be with the kids and I'm like, oh, hey, this idea and then we could do this and this and this and this and this, and he's just like this is like, this is gonna get lost in text messages because they put it in slack god damn it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the next message you're gonna send is like I'm going to get some milk and he's like I'm gonna lose the like. So we have processes for that. Like any business, you have to treat it like you would. You know you wouldn't just word vomit on an assistant in that way. You'd be like, okay, great, I've uploaded it to Trello or whatever. You use Asana, you can go and action it from there. So we've had to start treating each other as actual, like co-workers in that sense, so that obviously our team can be across it, but that we can be across it as well. In that. So it's like very clear where it lives.
Speaker 1:And do you have things at night where you're like I can't, like we're not going to talk about work after 6pm, like is it? Do you have anything like in a daily sort of ritual as well?
Speaker 2:We do on specific days, so mostly on the weekends, we try to tap out a little bit. I try to get a bit of work done in the evenings, once the kids are asleep. So we did do that for a while. It was like okay, after 7.m, phones away the vow. But I just found that I'm like, well, what am I gonna actually get any done? Yeah, like, and for me often it's it's just those finishing off things in the evenings, like it's sending that, getting back to that person, sending the voice note or you know a client check-in, whatever it is.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, for me it kind of became unrealistic to say, every night we're turning our phones off at 8 pm and we connecting, and it was like, okay, we're at least doing that two nights a week, we know that we have that space carved out, and then other nights as well. Sometimes you just want to do your own thing. You know, sometimes, particularly when you're working with someone, raising children with them in the house, 24, seven together- Living in a foreign country together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're with that person a lot, so you might want to go and do something. Something we've really implemented recently is, on the weekends, we lent into a lot of like traditionally in your mind, I think it's like this programming of oh, it's family time, family time, but it's like we have family time on a random Tuesday. We have family time, like we have a lot of family time there.
Speaker 2:It's not like oh, it's the weekend, therefore dad's finally home and we need to spend a lot of time together as family. But we realized that we kind of had defaulted to that mindset, just because I guess it's how you've been conditioned, and so we realized okay, we're able to have, you know, family time on a random Tuesday.
Speaker 2:So yeah let's actually take some of those weekend times for each other, and not just a token one hour massage, but like, go and take four hours, like. And so we started doing it in shifts of like you have the morning up until um, the baby has their nap, and then we switch, and that has also been game changing to just have time to ourselves, to like I don't know, sit in a cafe, like not not do whatever you want to do you compartmentalize as parents.
Speaker 2:You you know it's like, okay, I've got, I'm going to the gym for my one hour and I'm straight back home and I'm back into my mode and that works. But also to me it's like the gym's kind of a bare minimum of just like keeping you fit and healthy. You know actually the luxury of being able to sit and eat in a cafe, particularly when you have two kids that are boys always it's a little bit chaotic is amazing.
Speaker 2:You know, like I sit there with my journal and I feel like I've sat and then I'm like a few more hours. What should I do?
Speaker 2:and allow yourself to be bored, bored, walking around aimlessly amazing because I'm always walking on a mission or like someone's going to cross the road, like you're always on, and so just to be off in that way is so, has been so beautiful for us, and to then have space from each other, to actually then come back into that relationship and that dynamic with a story to tell or like something that isn't just like oh, I don't need to tell you how my day was, because you heard everything that happened because you were in the other room.
Speaker 1:I just think intentional space is like the most amazing, amazing thing, and Blake and I do a lot of it as well. It's like we work from home together. It's like like we spend a lot of time together. But it's like I get so excited when I've been out of the house for a whole day and I come back home and I'm like I've experienced the world. I'm like, let me tell you all the things and I think that's like the number one hack to bring into it like any relationship, even if you don't run a business with your partner as well. Wild.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you need. You need space for yourself. You need space Also. Then when you have multiple children, the dynamics change, like having a little bit of one-on-one time for each parent and each child.
Speaker 2:And a lot of that also requires like boundary and commitment. You know of going. We said we're going to do this thing, this is what like. So we sit down on a Sunday night and map out what's coming up in the week. I know what calls. He has booked in Cause booked in because, again, our schedule is kind of flexible and we're working across multiple time zones. So we'll look, okay, what have you got, what have I got? And then I literally will schedule in okay, well, here's the times you're going to the gym, here's the times I'm going to the gym or running or whatever. So we usually take he takes the morning to do some sort of self-care, I take the afternoon to do some sort of self-care and then we go. Where are you at capacity wise? Do you do we need to do Saturday as a tag team solo day, or how are you feeling?
Speaker 2:so it's not this like oh no, I've got my like scheduled alone time when I actually don't feel like I really want that right now. I want to go on a family hike or whatever. It's not rigid, but it's just this constant check-in with where you're at, because the rhythm of the family, the dynamics it, changes so often based on how much sleep you're getting and whatnot. And then you know, as as a mother as well, you go on this, this journey of matrescence, right, which is the same hormonal shift that happens when you're a teenager. So if you think back to when you were a teenager I don't know about you, but I was like wild there was a lot of hormones, a lot of fields.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of phases, a lot of acne for me, a lot of acne phase. There was a like lots of acne phase. There was like a blonde peroxide phase. There was lots of phases. That happens hormonally. The same thing happens after a baby. So it's also accounting for, like, if you sit down right, we have this baby. This is our plan, this is what our weeks look like. It's also not realistic.
Speaker 2:It has to be fluid, because who you are is constantly changing and evolving, the needs of the children are constantly changing and evolving. So, and evolving, the needs of the children are constantly changing and evolving, so it's it's not like we've made our plan in January and now we we just set the road out for the rest of the year. It's really got to be this like this thing. That's like okay, someone's been sick in the house, okay, that's thrown off the whole week.
Speaker 2:What do we need in this moment? So you're kind of, if you're able to have that communication with your partner, it's not always easy and your needs might not always be put first. Because it's also like, well, what does everyone need? If I'm taking too much time away and that's then negatively impacting the kids, okay, well, how can we better support that? What does that look like? So it's just a constant recalibration that you need to have.
Speaker 1:I love your take on this because I heard this concept the other day and I thought, oh, this is genius and she's actually going to be coming on the podcast to talk about it as well. But it's like don't plan for your perfect week, Actually plan for the most imperfect week, because then you know if shit hits the fan, you're all good. Is that how you and Tice kind of approach parenting and business?
Speaker 2:That's literally what I advise my clients to do as well. I'm like okay, worst case, because most of my clients have children.
Speaker 2:One of my clients has four kids right. I'm like worst case scenario, babe, all four of those kids get gastro. How can you actually show up for your business and your brand in that scenario? Probably very, very little. Okay, so, bare minimum, you could maybe get out two posts or send an email or whatever. It is like you know, based on what she's working with. If you, if you work with the worst case scenario, you're always going to get something done. Everything else becomes like this icing.
Speaker 1:A bonus yeah.
Speaker 2:And this is where, when you're in a season of the kids are sleeping well and everything's going well, you start saying yes to more things because, yeah, I've got this, I feel like I have the capacity, and then if in, if, in saying yes to that thing, if one other thing doesn't go perfect in order for that to actually manifest in the perfect way, don't say yes to it because, the wheels fall off and I guarantee you the week that you stretch yourself and go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll say yes to that extra call. It'll be fine. That'll be the week your kid gets projectile vomiting gastro and you're up all night and you're going. Why? Did I say yes to that thing. I've added all this extra pressure to myself. So you know, for me it's also zooming out and looking at my calendar. Rather than going how can I jam pack this week to get the most out of it, pulling back and going what's my focus for this quarter.
Speaker 1:How many?
Speaker 2:podcasts, am I saying yes to this quarter? And to focus for this quarter, how many podcasts? Am I saying yes to this quarter and knowing that those opportunities will come back around?
Speaker 2:because if I overload myself and then literally, poo hits the fan, um, which can happen, yeah, the wheels fall off. And what happens when the wheels start to fall off, in that sense, is particularly mums. We then push into depletion because we have this ability to prioritize our children first and foremost. It's like our, it's like, hormonally, something switches off of our own needs and we kind of end up in this cortisol high, stressed state of just like, well, my baby needs me in order to survive, my toddler needs me in the middle of the night because he doesn't want dad. Okay, I'm that person. So then you martyr yourself to that because you're like, okay, well, they need me. So then you don't sleep and because you're in that adrenaline cycle, you don't kind of notice it, you're like, it's fine, I'm a mom, I'm able to cope with all this stress, and you are, but not ongoing yeah and this is where I think motherhood gets a bit misunderstood, because it is a superpower, 100%.
Speaker 2:Becoming a mom is a superpower, like once you, I don't know. For me it was like once I birthed that first baby. It was like something switched within me in terms of my capacity, my belief in myself, all of these things really, really changed and you unlock the capacity to like some of the things I get done in a day. I'm like, damn girl, like you just did those that, all that stuff in, like the two-hour window that you had, that would have taken you a week before you would have procrastinated, you would have.
Speaker 2:You know, oh, I need to like set up the perfect environment in order to like get this thing done. And you just hammered it out and got it done and it was amazing. So it becomes a superpower in that way. But if you lean into that too much, you push into burnout and depletion, because you're like well, I feel great, I can stay up till midnight every night, and then I can be up with the babies, and then I can work and do these things, and that's fine for a certain amount of time. But then you you 100% will crash, something will happen, your immune system will fail and then this happened to you personally like have you felt this?
Speaker 2:I've gotten, I've gotten on the edge. Many, many times I've I've experienced burnout before kids, um, recovering type a, yeah, um, I guess I'm, I guess I really know the signs and, and you know, for me even like using the example we've spoken about, there's many, but looking around that time of my book launch was like oh my goodness, I knew I was getting to that point of I need, I need rest, I need to pull back because I'm running on reserve tanks, that I don't have a lot left yet, and that's the thing.
Speaker 2:You kind of get this extra reserve as a mum but I think a lot of mums use that take that and I see it time and time again in the entrepreneurial space. They kind of get like five years in and then massive burnout crash and they realise, oh, actually I can't do all the things. So it's like yes, you can have it all, but you can't have it all at once and you can't have it in the way that it used to look. You have to be strategic about what that looks like and play the long game. You have to have that long-term vision of like okay, right now this is hard, right now I'm not able to say yes to these things, but I will. My capacity will increase, my days will shift. Every day is so different with children as well.
Speaker 1:My days will shift.
Speaker 2:Every day is so different, with children as well. So it's just, it's always playing the long game and that's a basic smart business strategy anyway, you know always play that long game parenting long game. You know, for me it's like I'm playing the long game of wanting to have a relationship with my children when they're in their teens.
Speaker 1:You know what does that?
Speaker 2:look like they're the foundations that I'm setting up for Now. It's the same in business I'm playing the long game with, with everything. So I think, if you keep that in mind and let go of that expectation on yourself to have to do it all now, because sometimes it feels like you can, like, yeah, I can do that and I can do this, and I'm amazing, look at me. But if it's like sustaining high levels of stress over time, the human body will inevitably crash. And so for me, like that book deal, the book um tour, was an example of knowing I could see my physical body was starting to fail me.
Speaker 2:I was like, okay, once I get through this, this talk, like I'm going into a bit of a hibernation and I'm just doubling down on nutrition and sleeping and not not answering emails at night and just being in this little cocoon of recovering and coming out of that and then being more sustainable.
Speaker 2:So it's just it's also being realistic that sometimes work is going to require more of you, and that means you're not going to like you can't give the same amount of energy to every single bucket at all times. It all moves in seasons and if you can be aware of that, then you know. Okay, right now this is really important and you put all of my focus on that, um, and let you know. The other stuff cut around in the background and then, once that's done, I know that I can then pull focus and and be back over here, but spreading yourself evenly across all buckets that you are trying to fill up into is not realistic.
Speaker 2:So I'll know, for example, if I'm really choosing to prioritize something in business, I'll go okay, my self-care is going to just go into maintenance mode. I'm not going to have the massage or the extra time or whatever, because that extra time I need to be spent working on developing this thing. And then I know, once that's done, I can go back into. Okay, now I'm going to go for my. There's those extras on top of the bare minimum. You know, I think you have to maintain the bare minimum, don't sacrifice the bare minimum.
Speaker 1:So what I love is a new standard that you're setting for motherhood and business of like, okay, we can be a super nourished mother and then also be incredible in business. And what would you say to like this glorified, martyr sort of style of motherhood and business where it's like they almost sorry, I shouldn't say they, but some women can wear it as a badge of honor about like, okay, you know, I am doing motherhood and I'm doing all the things that I'm, I'm burnt out and I'm depleted, and it's almost like they wear it as a bit of a badge of honor. What? What do you have to say about that?
Speaker 2:Talk to them in 30 years.
Speaker 1:See how they're faring.
Speaker 2:I think, for me, the big, the big thing that made me realize that martyrdom and motherhood are not synonymous with each other was before I became a mom. I ran retreats and I would have on my retreats those women that had either sacrificed themselves to motherhood and wore that as like a victimhood mentality, or done the I can do it all thing, and they end up at a yoga retreat in Bali in in their mid 40s, early 50s, being like who the fuck am?
Speaker 1:I. What have I done with my?
Speaker 2:life. I sacrificed the story, I sacrificed my body, I sacrificed my, my career, I sacrificed my time. Or, like now I'm so depleted that I've got all these health issues like what the hell? So I saw that time. I saw the result of these women that you're probably referring to. I saw the result of that, what that looks like, you know, 10, 20 years later down the track and I, so consciously at the time, was like how do I not end up like that? How do I not end up on the yoga retreat in my mid-40s being like what the f was the last 20 years? You know what was that?
Speaker 2:So you start to see these patterns and and often it's this inability to let go of the identity of who you were and who you are now, and really own that. Also to create a business model that supports the season of motherhood that you're in and not have the FOMO of just because that other person is touring the world doing all these public speaking. That would be an absolute disaster for the harmony of my family right now. So I'm choosing my piece over that. I it's a really, really important thing, um, but as women, like we, also have hormones to look after. We also have this like using your pelvic floor as an example. Right often, when we don't look after our pelvic floor after babies, we might not notice it. You might be like it's fine, I, I still have great sexual function. I can pee without peeing myself like I'm all good.
Speaker 2:But then when your hormones change, when you hit your perimenopause and menopause phase and that fascia changes and everything changes and suddenly you've got incontinence issues. And it's not because of anything that happened in the last five years. It's happened 20 years ago, when you had your babies and you didn't rehab and look after yourself properly, and it wasn't until your hormones changed that that caught up with you so for me it's like I strength train because I want to be 80 years old and have solid bone density, like it's not just about I want to, you know, have muscles.
Speaker 2:Yes, I want to feel toned and happy in my body. All that kind of stuff 100. There's an aesthetic element to it but, it's also this long game of knowing the benefits long term and setting myself up for that. So it's the same in in business and and motherhood. When you're when you're in that dance, I like to call it a dance rather than a juggle. When you're in the dance of that, sometimes the dance feels like a flow and it's really that's a soul thought tango.
Speaker 2:It's a soul thought. It's amazing. Other times it's like it's awkward. I'm learning this weird shuffle thing and I don't know how to do it and the steps don't feel like they're in flow.
Speaker 2:So it's the long-term game, it's knowing that your edge, and if it is unrealistic for any human being to be in a high state of stress 24 7 ongoing, without the repercussions of that being felt down the line, the repercussions of that being felt to your children, because you share a nervous system with your children. So that is massive, um the the sacrifice that that has on your own health long term. Like all these women that I see that are like, quote unquote, doing it all, there's a couple that I follow online at the moment where you know when you just see someone and you're like you're a train wrecking yeah, it's like it's gonna be a crash soon.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're gonna be the person writing the book. That goes I pushed myself. And then this is what I see in the coaching industry. Right, I listen to podcasts and there's women that have been in the coaching industry for you know 20 years and they're like, yeah, I was in that boss, babe era, and I pushed myself and I was like we can do it all, we can have it all, and then I completely burnt out and now I'm in my soft girl era or whatever, and so you it's like learn from those people, learn from the people that are like a hundred steps in front of you and look thing back and going.
Speaker 2:I wish I didn't push myself, because what was, what was, what was it worth, what was the result?
Speaker 2:the actual results. How can you build something that is sustainable long term? Can you sustain that over time rather than just, oh, the momentum's here? So I've got to keep chasing the momentum.
Speaker 2:You know, for me, even sharing around this is probably like a side note conversation. But sharing the motherhood journey online and sharing all of that as well, like it's such an interesting space to be in because you are only sharing such a small, you only see such a small snippet. Right, and particularly if that person has a business, they're doing it strategically to market to their ideal customer, right. So if they're doing it strategically to market to their ideal customer, right. So if they're wanting to work with mums that also want to work in a business, of course they're going to share. Here's how I balanced doing this with my newborn and whatnot. But then also they're probably not sharing. Here's what happened when, midway through that podcast, that newborn started screaming or that newborn got reflux and this, all the wheels fell off like whatever it is. So it a really, really fine line of like looking at what other people are doing, but also knowing who are you, what's your capacity and what best serves you and your family in this season.
Speaker 1:Which kind of comes back to the values conversation. It's like knowing what you value and knowing your goal, playing the long game. It's like. That's kind of like when you're anchored to the roadmap. It's like you, you can't deviate. It's like this is, this is the plan. Um, and something that I'm loving and coming back to is like what's the? What example do we want to be setting for our kids? Like, do we want to be setting a burnt out example and putting myself last? I'm, you know, not taking care of myself for the sake of everyone else? Or do I want to set a new standard, which I know you and tice are doing now so beautifully? Um, so I feel like Can I get?
Speaker 2:around the conversation online of moms that are like all I ate was toddler scraps. Today I'm like girl Eat If you do not have 10 freaking minutes to sit down and eat some goddamn eggs.
Speaker 1:Reprioritize your life.
Speaker 2:Because, like what you just said about standards, what does that say to your child? You? Know so many people are like oh, my kids don't eat, they're not good with food. What example are you setting them? Are you sitting down and mindfully eating with them? Or are you, you know, grabbing a quick snack on the go and then telling your kid oh please, sit down and eat your dinner slowly and don't throw it everywhere when you're chucking a protein?
Speaker 2:bar in your mouth as you run out the door. You know that is like that's not even self-care, that's just basic food. You know it's like it doesn't take long to eat a meal and to sit down, eat that meal and if and, and often you know I got a lot of backlash when I spoke out about this people being like well, you don't understand what it's like to be busy with kids.
Speaker 2:It's like I have to yeah, like let them cry, carry on, you know, demand attention. Whatever mommy's doing this right now, you're modeling something. I guarantee you do that a couple of times. They'll get the picture and be like okay, I'm either gonna sit and eat with mommy or I give my other option boundaries, like it's also boundaries. So like, yes, I get that you're busy, yes, I get that some days. But this whole like forgetting to actually eat thing, it's like it doesn take, it's not that hard to boil some eggs, chuck them on a piece of sourdough and sit down and just chew for 10 minutes. You know it's, it's really, but it's. It sets a standard for how you treat yourself. And that sets a standard I mean particularly with me with having boys. Right, I'm setting a standard for how they're going to treat women.
Speaker 2:So yes they're going to learn that from their father and how he treats me and our dynamic. But they're also going to learn that for how did mommy respect herself? Because when they then have a partner that you know does the opposite or whatever it's going to, oh, that's interesting. So I'm I'm creating a story for them of also like what's normal. So I don't want them to get to a point where they're not eating because they're too busy and they're not looking after themselves because they're too caught up in their world. We want to show them this is what it looks like. So we have a. We have a. We don't do like behavior charts in our house. We do a self-care chart.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's so cute.
Speaker 2:We have everyone's, everyone's name on a star and the intention was is because it's very easy, right Once the kids start doing activities and things, for it to all become about them, for it to all become about them. This is something else I see massively in the parenting space. I'm in a season where I'm just driving around doing 600 sporting commitments and it's all about my kids. I get it. Yes, you are. We are their parents. It is our job to give them opportunities and whatnot, but also teaching them boundaries and teaching them what, what helps the family.
Speaker 2:So, for example, we have our like self-care chart and my little one, four-year-old.
Speaker 2:He loves doing his meditations, he likes he goes to yoga class once a week, like he has his little things that he hears, and so he puts his little star up and, freaking, loves it. And then he's also like mommy, have you any exercise today? You need to put your star up and what that visually communicates to them as well is like this is what we want the whole family to thrive. This isn't just mom and dad sacrificing their time in order for you kids to have yours, because I think that long term, that creates a really healthy imbalance. It's going okay. Ours might look a little bit different, our workouts might be a tiny bit shorter, or we might be doing shorter meditations, or we're not, you know, indulging in a full weekend retreat away right now, in this, in this particular season, but we're doing these bare minimum things that also are showing that to the kids of like, this is what's, this is what's important and that keeps us accountable as well, because then if we look back and go, oh, you've got more stars than me.
Speaker 1:I probably need to like up the ante a bit whatever it is, yeah, so and like I've seen this firsthand at your house, when it's like I come over and like you know, like your eldest will be like doing a meditation or going to the altar and putting the crystals on, or like just following what you and Tice do so naturally anyway and it just shows like they are little copycats and they're watching everything that we, you know, do and say, and then they're going to start to repeat those sort of like habits or rituals or patterns. So that's been so beautiful to watch Same in work.
Speaker 2:You know, if they see us working and all we do is work and all we do is talk about work, what standard does that set for their relationship with work as they grow older? Because I guarantee any parent would say to their child I want you to enjoy what you do, but I also want you to like have a life and go out and explore your hobbies and do all these things. I think a really helpful thing to come back to is like if you were your own parent giving that advice, like if you were giving the advice to your child, if you were wanting to see them act in a certain way, what would that be like? And particularly when the kids are young, it's like well then you have to model that. You have to be that, because if you want your kid to sit down and eat nourishing food, they have to see you prioritizing that because they will copy you if they see you walking around the house, like we tell our kids we don't want them walking around the house eating because mostly because they put grubby mess everywhere.
Speaker 2:Um, but that means I can't walk around the house eating. Even though I know I'm not going to like smear my like you know fingers all over the wall, I have to model that behavior of like well, I'll tell you that you shouldn't walk around and eat?
Speaker 1:if I'm going to walk around and eat, it's kind of a good integrity check, isn't it?
Speaker 2:it's massive and it's. This is what I say. Kids are a they mirror that back to you, because you can talk, a lot of talk and I think, before you have kids as well, you're like I'm the best parent.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's like in your face being reflected back at you. It's so hard. It's like this constant calibration of like wow, I did say that and now I am my four-year-old holds me accountable.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I can. I can literally hear his voice doing it right now. It's so cute, I know I love him. I love him. Um. Well, emma, thank you so much Like. I have loved this chat and taken up, taken so much personally from it, and I know all the listeners will too. Um tell us how we can connect with you. I know you've just launched your new mastermind. Um tell us all the things, how people can get in your world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I mostly hang out on instagram. Um, emma made it with a little underscore at the end. Um, come and send me a dm, tell me what you got from this podcast. I love hearing and connecting with other people and hearing their perspectives as well. And then our business flow states. Collective is where we do most of our coaching work through. And then we have flow os, which is our biz automations offering. So we have heaps of stuff in that space that really dives into using AI and automations to help you actually have freedom in your business and to not be wasting time doing kind of the busy work that we wear as a bit of a badge of honor in entrepreneurship.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, come connect with me online. That's where I'm mostly hanging out. I am across the other platforms, but I just prefer Instagram, so that's where I mostly hang out. I am across the other platforms, but I just prefer Instagram, so that's where.
Speaker 1:That's where you'll find me and your amazing book as well, which is, which is available everywhere find that everywhere yeah yeah, if you're in Australia, it'll be in stores.
Speaker 2:Find your flow. It'll be in like wqb e whatever. All those bookstores will have it. Or you can obviously grab it online as well, or you can get the audio version, which is me reading it to you that is so cool.
Speaker 1:I love it. You in my ears. Um well, thank you so much. I know it's early for you and um, yeah, it's what's. What's it now? Probably 7, 30 7, 30 yeah, that's not early, I've lived an entire day by this point you have. You have. That's motherhood for you people, um, but yeah, thank you for your wisdom and you're just coming on today and for all the listeners. We so appreciate you tuning in and we'll see you on the next episode.
